


Yet.

by simplyoverstated



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anorexia, Bulimia, Eating Disorder, Suicidal Ideation, Suicide, Writing, super short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-07
Updated: 2017-09-07
Packaged: 2018-12-25 01:37:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12025362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplyoverstated/pseuds/simplyoverstated
Summary: I don’t want to tell my story, because my story isn’t finished yet.





	Yet.

I don’t want to tell my story, because my story isn’t finished yet. I still have twenty pounds to lose. I still have a girlfriend to meet. I still have an apartment to rent and a job to apply for and a dog to rescue. But at night, it feels like my story could be over in a second, easily. A slip of a blade, a bottle of pills.

But not yet. Sometimes it’s because I would like to look good in my coffin. Or maybe just check that goal weight off my to do list before I fade away.

Sometimes it’s because I picture my dad crying, and it breaks my heart.

Sometimes it’s because I’m just too damn tired. The blade is too heavy. The bottle is too far away. And I drift away only to wake up again.

The feeling is temporary but chronic. I know it will pass, but I also know it will come back again, and I’ll want to steer my car off that ledge or cut too deep. When does ideation become attempt? When does depression become suicide? I don’t know. I haven’t been pushed that far yet.

_Yet._

All you can do is your best. I don’t think I’ve achieved that yet. So I’ll stay here, and I’ll fight the dark, and I’ll keep going. For them, for her, for me. I’ll finish up my story, and maybe someday someone will read it and want to finish theirs.


End file.
